“Believe in your dreams and they may come true; believe in yourself and they will come true” – Author Unknown.

Do you believe in yourself and your abilities? Do you feel that you can achieve anything you put your mind to? Do you wake up every day feeling accomplished, confident and great about yourself?

I do not. Sometimes I have writer’s block and I doubt my ability to write anything worth reading. Sometimes I am not sure if I can live up to my goals. And sometimes I simply have a bad day and I doubt that I can do anything to improve it.
Maybe occasionally you have such days too, wishing that you appeared more confident around your colleagues, more outgoing at your friend’s party or more decisive in your actions.

If so, here are 10 Powerful Tips that will help you to boost your self-confidence and hush your negative self-talk whenever you need it:

1. Know your purpose.

When you know your intentions for the day, you have a good reason to feel good about yourself. Without purpose and not knowing what to do, you are likely to feel down. Usually, it gives way to boredom and ends in feeling unworthy because you don’t have anything to look forward to. But, but, but! If you plan and decide, you have a purpose. Pursuing it would be a meaningful act, achieving the same boosts your confidence all the more.

2. Surround yourself with wonderful people.

As much as grumpy, crabby people dampen the spirit, positive people heighten your self-esteem. They are those who would give you support, give you affirmations and help you see the brighter side of life. Yes, they are good source of laughter as well. Kind of like my friends who make me laugh after a really messy crying session.

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I had always been scared of living alone. I could not stand the quiet, nor the idea of being all by myself in a room or apartment, even eating out on my own was scary. Growing up, I always had my siblings and shared a room with them, and even when I finally started working, I still shared an apartment with my cousin until she moved to another city.

As I was bent on finding company, my cousin kidded that I should just keep the apartment all to myself and be on my own. “Why don’t you try it? You are not scared, are you?” To me, this came both as a challenge and as a joke, knowing very well I had not tried it before.

After much thought and financial considerations, I did as she said and that started the unending lessons in life. From getting things in order, to learning how to cook, to having independence and total freedom with decorations and arrangements. Later I found that with quiet surroundings and with no one to talk to, I actually experienced a different kind of peace. Solitude had its benefits too!

Since then I have learned to do a lot of things without being scared, like cooking a 3-course meal for 10 people (before this my brightest culinary achievement had been French toast), sleeping in a big house, and traveling on my own.

Have you had a similar experience?

What was the major “switch” in your life that led you to have greater self-belief?

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“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. Forbes

Have you ever been at a friend’s party, where you did not know anyone except for the person who invited you? How did it go?

I usually end up having a great time and meeting interesting people. The only thing I do not enjoy about these kinds of parties is the first 15-20 minutes of awkwardness. Do you know what I am talking about? You enter the room full of people you do not know. Your friend disappears, because they have to greet someone else and you just stand there, wondering if anyone will talk to you or if you should engage another person in conversation.

If you are lucky some good soul comes over to you and says “Hi!”, if not you have three choices: 1) look for the friend who invited you there, 2) search the crowd and see if there is anyone else in the room who is standing by them self and seems to be tortured by the same dilemma as you are: to talk or not to talk, or 3) choose the group of people who seem to be having fun and walk up to them.

My point is that no matter how self-confident or outgoing we are, there will be situations when we will doubt our abilities or feel shy or inadequate around other people.

But the true question is not “Why do we feel that way?”, but “What can we do about it?”

Here is the first part of 24 Golden Nuggets that have helped me to fight occasional self-doubts and become more confident in myself:

1. Love Yourself

Loving yourself does not mean that you should completely ignore your weaknesses or sit for hours in front of a mirror, admiring your beauty. Love is about acceptance, compassion and forgiveness. Yes, you can mess up and get yourself into embarrassing situations. But guess what? So can everyone else! Learn to forgive yourself for past failures and accept your shortcoming. No one is perfect. But everyone is unique! This is what makes relationships so interesting and exciting!

2. Watch your language!

People’s feelings and negatives beliefs are reflected in their words. Become aware of how you frame your sentences. Think of the message that you are sending to other people when you say, “I can never get it right”, “It’s so easy, even I could have done it”, “You would not want to go out with me, would you?” Do not generalize or catastrophize the situation! Try to be specific and objective. There is a huge difference between saying, “No one loves me! I will never get married and I will die alone” and saying, “They do not want to go out with me, but that does not mean no one does. I just need to keep looking.”

3. Look good to feel good

When you look nice you feel good. And when you feel good, you start to talk and act more confidently. Nothing helps you to regain your self-confidence and optimism faster than an elegant outfit, a great new haircut or accessories that radiate power and professionalism.

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