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Spontaneous Acts of Kindness That Transform Us

acts of kindness 300x198 Spontaneous Acts of Kindness That Transform UsDo you remember a time when you helped another person for absolutely no reason? Or a time when a total stranger did something nice for you? How did it feel? Great? Odd? Wonderful?
Usually it is easy to be kind and compassionate towards people that you like. You are nice to them and they are nice back to you. Most of us exchange this type of kindness every single day, when we ask a friend how their family members are doing, when we offer to help a co-worker with their project, when we make a donation to our church.
This is not the kindness I am talking about. I mean real spontaneous kindness towards people that you might not even like.
Yesterday I was taking a stroll in the old city center. A tall nicely dressed man in his forties was walking in front of me. What got my attention was not the man, but the huge box of hand-made Belgian chocolates that he was carrying in his hand. A friend had once brought me a smaller box of these chocolates from Luxemburg and they were absolutely delicious. But unfortunately, I could not find them in the local grocery stores. I was just wondering, where he had bought them, when my “voracious” thoughts were distracted by screams and swearing coming from an old woman, sitting on the steps of the church.
Her clothes were dirty and her face was red from fury and probably years of drinking. She had a small plate with a few coins in it that she managed to collect that morning. People walking by were glancing and turning their faces, looking embarrassed, disapproving and even disgusted.

How ‘Consumer Mentality’ Deprives You From Being Successful and Happy

About three weeks ago I watched an interview with a very successful real estate marketer. He mentioned that people have two different types of mentalities: consumer mentality and creator mentality.
People with consumer mentality are focused on extracting value. It is sort of “What’s in it for me?” way of thinking. People with creator mentality are focused on creating value. They think about what they can do to help others and how they can create value for other people and for themselves.
What does mentality have to do with financial success? Everything! Until you are focused on extracting value, your chances of earning a lot of money are very slim. And even if you earn it, you will still not be able to enjoy it.
I know that it sounds a little disappointing. After all, the fastest and easiest way to get rich most of us can think about is to win the lottery and not to provide value for others first and to receive a reward for it later. Maybe that is why the gambling industry is thriving even during times of recession. Interestingly enough, though, research shows that 97% of people who have won over one million dollars on the lottery after 5 years end up even more broke and unhappy than the day before they won.
We have all heard the phrase from the Bible (Luke 6:38) “Give and it will be given to you”, but how many of us take it close to heart and live by it? We all try to do our best, but in general it is counter-intuitive for us to focus on someone else’s needs, problems and desires. According to Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs we cannot pursue higher order needs, like affiliation and relationships until our own needs for physical and emotional well-being are satisfied.
Although, after our basic survival and safety needs are met it is natural for us to aim higher and concentrate our energy on improving our relationships, seeking personal growth and achieving higher career status.
But again, our Hierarchy of Needs is centered on our own desires, not the desires of others. We do not wake up in the morning thinking, “I have a strong need to help my neighbor mow his lawn!” or “I can’t wait to donate $200 to charity! ”
If we want to be wealthy, we dream about winning the lottery or becoming a movie star, but only a few of us actually ask ourselves, “How do I give people information that costs $100 and ask them to pay only $10 for it?”
Even as I write this sentence, a little voice in the back of my mind keeps saying, “why would you give away information that costs 100 bucks for a tenth of the price?!”
It is very hard to make that mind shift from consumer to creator mentality, but it is necessary if you want to be successful financially and personally.
Imagine having a full glass of water and taking a little sip out of it every day. If you no one refills it, after some time you will find yourself thirsty, but your glass will be empty. There should always be a healthy balance between how much you take and how much you give, and I am not just talking about money. This Energy Exchange Law is Universal. For example, any relationship that starts wonderfully is doomed if one of the partners feels that they are giving a lot and receiving very little in return. The single biggest reason behind 99% of all fights is that our expectations have not been met. Sometimes we are so busy concentrating on what another person should do or has not done for us that we completely forget to pay attention to their needs and to the fact that they, too, want to feel appreciated and loved.
And even though is it not easy to make that switch from “What I want to get” to “What I can give” way of thinking it is well-worth trying, because until you concentrate on extracting value there will be no miraculous changes in your life or in life in general.

consume 300x198 How ‘Consumer Mentality’ Deprives You From Being Successful and HappyAbout three weeks ago I watched an interview with a very successful real estate marketer. He mentioned that people have two different types of mentalities: consumer mentality and creator mentality.

People with consumer mentality are focused on extracting value. It is sort of “What’s in it for me?” way of thinking. People with creator mentality are focused on creating value. They think about what they can do to help others and how they can create value for other people and for themselves.

What does mentality have to do with financial success? Everything! Until you are focused on extracting value, your chances of earning a lot of money are very slim. And even if you earn it, you will still not be able to enjoy it.

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water.

220x220 glasses water.Yesterday, I woke up with a dilemma. I could not decide if I wanted to go skiing in St.Moritz, Switzerland for 4 days or if I should save money for Christmas presents. It seemed like a real problem at the time… I would never have thought that just 11 hours later my “perfect” little  world would shatter.

I am grateful for that change, which was due to a presentation by Scott Harrison. I never thought of myself as of an overly emotional person, but I just could not stop crying over what I saw and heard…

Scott talked about his old life in New York (NY) and how it changed when he volunteered to work as a photojournalist on a floating hospital with Mercy Ships (a humanitarian organization which offered free medical care in the world’s poorest nations).

What he saw was enough to make even the bravest man shiver from horror and shock (I know, because I have seen the pictures): poverty beyond imagination, faces eaten away by bacteria, suffocating tumors, skin rashes, dysentery and stomach worms. Most of these diseases were caused by contaminated water.

I could never have imagined that in our age of advanced technology and information, when cars, flat screen TV’s, computers, cell phones, and Internet connection is not a luxury but a commodity, that there are 1.2 billion people living with no public electricity, sewage, basic medical care and no access to clean, safe water.

These people lack both the tools and knowledge to build something as basic as hand-dug wells, or boreholes (deep wells). Most women and children spend more than three hours every day fetching dirty water that is likely to make them sick.

According to statistics close to 38,000 children under 5 years old, die every week from a lack of basic sanitation or unsafe water.

Of course we hear about wars, terrorism, poverty and diseases on the news, but all of it seems so far away…

We have more pressing problems at hand, like the economic crisis, gas prices, a mean boss and what to get our spouse and children this Christmas.

And most of us have no idea that every sixth person on this Planet would give anything in exchange for something that we use without thinking – clean water.

When Scott returned to NY from Liberia, in 2006 he founded a non-profit organization called charity: water, where 100% of money raised goes  directly to project costs.

In two years charity: water has raised $7.2 million, funded 890 water projects, and provided over 400,000 people with clean water.

Talk about changing the world…

Very few people truly believe that they can make a difference. Yet as little as $20 can provide one person with clean, safe drinking water for 20 years.

This is less then we usually pay for a dinner in a restaurant. I guess, what I realized after  watching Scott’s presentation, is that you do not have to be a Bill Gates, Mahatma Gandhi, Barack Obama, or Mother Theresa to make the  world a better place. You should just care enough.

If you want to make a difference, visit www.charitywater.org and see how you can help.