We all crave being loved, cared for, appreciated and understood. 99% of what we do, think, say, fear, and desire can be, one way or another, linked back to our need for affiliation and approval. And this is not surprising, because without close satisfying relationships our life becomes lonely, boring and meaningless. Relationships, on the other hand, make it exciting, meaningful and fulfilling. But also frustrating. Especially when people refuse to act according to our wishes or expectations.
When it happens, we have two options:
1) Try to change other people and convince them to do the “right thing” ( usually we have an explanation ready of what the right thing is)
2) Change the way we relate to others and learn why we sometimes face difficulties when it comes to creating and sustaining relationships with others.
Here are the 10 Most Important Relationships Laws:
1. THE LAW OF SIMILARITY. Like attracts like. We do not attract people that we want to attract into our life. We attract people who are similar to us, because we resonate with them. There are no accidental encounters. Just after effects of our past thoughts, expectations and actions.
2. THE LAW OF BRICK WALL. Precautions that we take to avoid getting hurt include not letting any emotions get too close to our heart, but this also turns you into a prisoner keeping you safely tucked behind the walls. “Playing it safe” is a sure way to avoid a broken heart, but it is also a sure way of leaving happiness outside your life.
3. THE LAW OF INACTION. Nothing will change in your life until you take a step to make it happen. Any satisfying long-lasting relationship requires patience and sustained effort.
4. THE LAW OF HALFWAY. It takes two people to make a relationship work. You can meet another person halfway, but you can not walk the whole way for them. Your zone of control ends where another person’s feelings and goals begin. If the other person is not moving towards you, your efforts will be wasted.
5. THE LAW OF MIRROR. People that we dislike serve as our mirrors. They are reflections of our own negative qualities. This is why we react so strongly to them. The traits of character that aggravate us most about others are the same ones we deny in ourselves. The best way to change other people’s behavior is to work on your personal growth. Then there will not be any need to send so many “mirrors” your way.
6. THE LAW OF YING YANG. The transition from one opposite to another is what creates balance and diversity in life. One opposite cannot exist without the other. Happiness alternates with sadness, laughter with tears, success with failure, gain with loss. Everything has its beginning and end. When you face a dark phase in your life, know that it will not last forever. This is the circle of life. Very often in order to understand something and appreciate it you have to see the other side of the coin as well.
7. THE LAW OF YOUR OWN WORTH. Other people almost always perceive us the way we perceive ourselves. To be loved and appreciated by others we must first accept and appreciate ourselves. If you are trying to make everyone else like you, you risk losing your true self in the process. You should always strive to be your best self, but never to please others by changing who you really are.
8. THE LAW OF HARMONY. We are all looking for harmony in everything: in the outside world and inside our heart. When you achieve inner harmony, you automatically create harmonious relationships with the outside world. Harmony does not mean the absence of challenges or conflicts that can lead to personal growth. It means that your mind, your feelings and your actions are in line with your life purpose and your most important goals.
9. THE LAW OF COMPLETION. Very often we are looking for relationships that can give us more of what we want, be it material stability, knowledge, or love. We are looking for people and goals that will make us feel complete by providing us with something that we lack. By doing this we are giving the control of our happiness and well-being into the hands of others and we lose our independence. A sense of completion should come from within, and should not depend on others.
10. THE LAW OF RESONSIBILITY. Our reality is just a reflection of you inner thoughts. What does not exist in your consciousness will never happen in reality. Blaming other for your misfortunes is just like trying to stop a truck approaching you at a full speed by cursing the driver. Until YOU jump aside the situation is not going to change. If you want to improve relationships with other people without conflict, manipulation and threats, start by changing your perspective. Making you happy is not anyone else’s responsibility, duty or moral obligation, only your own!