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10 Most Important Relationship Laws

We all crave being loved, cared for, appreciated and understood. 99% of what we do, think, say, fear, and desire can be, one way or another, linked back to our need for affiliation and approval. And this is not surprising, because without close satisfying relationships our life becomes lonely, boring and meaningless. Relationships, on the other hand, make it exciting, meaningful and fulfilling. But also frustrating. Especially when people refuse to act according to our wishes or expectations.
When it happens, we have two options:
1) Try to change other people and convince them to do the “right thing” ( usually we have an explanation ready of what the right thing is)
2) Change the way we relate to others and learn why we sometimes face difficulties when it comes to creating and sustaining relationships with others.
Here are the 10 Most Important Relationships Laws:
1. THE LAW OF SIMILARITY. Like attracts like. We do not attract people that we want to attract into our life. We attract people who are similar to us, because we resonate with them. There are no accidental encounters. Just after effects of our past thoughts, expectations and actions.
2. THE LAW OF BRICK WALL. Precautions that we take to avoid getting hurt include not letting any emotions get too close to our heart, but this also turns you into a prisoner keeping you safely tucked behind the walls.  “Playing it safe” is a sure way to avoid a broken heart, but it is also a sure way of leaving happiness outside your life.
3. THE LAW OF INACTION. Nothing will change in your life until you take a step to make it happen. Any satisfying long-lasting relationship requires patience and sustained effort.
4. THE LAW OF HALFWAY. It takes two people to make a relationship work. You can meet another person halfway, but you can not walk the whole way for them. Your zone of control ends where another person’s feelings and goals begin. If the other person is not moving towards you, your efforts will be wasted.
5. THE LAW OF MIRROR. People that we dislike serve as our mirrors. They are reflections of our own negative qualities. This is why we react so strongly to them. The traits of character that aggravate us most about others are the same ones we deny in ourselves. The best way to change other people’s behavior is to improve your own character. Then there will not be any need to send so many “mirrors” your way.
6. THE LAW OF YING YANG.  The transition from one opposite to another is what creates balance and diversity in life. One opposite cannot exist without the other. Happiness alternates with sadness, laughter with tears, success with failure, gain with loss. Everything has its beginning and end. When you face a dark phase in your life, know that it will not last forever. This is the circle of life. Very often in order to understand something and appreciate it you have to see the other side of the coin as well.
7. THE LAW OF YOUR OWN WORTH. Other people almost always perceive us the way we perceive ourselves. To be loved and appreciated by others we must first accept and appreciate ourselves. If you are trying to make everyone else like you, you risk losing your true self in the process. You should always strive to be your best self, but never to please others by changing who you really are.
8. THE LAW OF HARMONY. We are all looking for harmony in everything: in the outside world and inside our heart. When you achieve inner harmony, you automatically create harmonious relationships with the outside world. Harmony does not mean the absence of challenges or conflicts that can lead to personal growth. It means that your mind, your feelings and your actions are in line with your life purpose and your most important goals.
9. THE LAW OF COMPLETION. Very often we are looking for relationships that can give us more of what we want, be it material stability, knowledge, or love. We are looking for people and goals that will make us feel complete by providing us with something that we lack. By doing this we are giving the control of our happiness and well-being into the hands of others and we lose our independence. A sense of completion should come from within, and should not depend on others.
10. THE LAW OF RESONSIBILITY. Our reality is just a reflection of you inner thoughts. What does not exist in your consciousness will never happen in reality. Blaming other for your misfortunes is just like trying to stop a truck approaching you at a full speed by cursing the driver. Until YOU jump aside the situation is not going to change. If you want to improve relationships with other people without conflict, manipulation and threats, start by changing your perspective. Making you happy is not anyone else’s responsibility, duty or moral obligation, only your own!

We all crave being loved, cared for, appreciated and understood. 99% of what we do, think, say, fear, and desire can be, one way or another, linked back to our need for affiliation and approval. And this is not surprising, because without close satisfying relationships our life becomes lonely, boring and meaningless. Relationships, on the other hand, make it exciting, meaningful and fulfilling. But also frustrating. Especially when people refuse to act according to our wishes or expectations.

When it happens, we have two options:

1) Try to change other people and convince them to do the “right thing” ( usually we have an explanation ready of what the right thing is)

2) Change the way we relate to others and learn why we sometimes face difficulties when it comes to creating and sustaining relationships with others.

Here are the 10 Most Important Relationship Laws:

1. THE LAW OF SIMILARITY. Like attracts like. We do not attract people that we want to attract into our life. We attract people who are similar to us, because we resonate with them. There are no accidental encounters. Just after effects of our past thoughts, expectations and actions.

2. THE LAW OF BRICK WALL. Precautions that we take to avoid getting hurt include not letting any emotions get too close to our heart, but this also turns you into a prisoner keeping you safely tucked behind the walls.  “Playing it safe” is a sure way to avoid a broken heart, but it is also a sure way of leaving happiness outside your life.

3. THE LAW OF INACTION. Nothing will change in your life until you take a step to make it happen. Any satisfying long-lasting relationship requires patience and sustained effort.

4. THE LAW OF HALFWAY. It takes two people to make a relationship work. You can meet another person halfway, but you can not walk the whole way for them. Your zone of control ends where another person’s feelings and goals begin. If the other person is not moving towards you, your efforts will be wasted.

5. THE LAW OF MIRROR. People that we dislike serve as our mirrors. They are reflections of our own negative qualities. This is why we react so strongly to them. The traits of character that aggravate us most about others are the same ones we deny in ourselves. The best way to change other people’s behavior is to work on your personal growth. Then there will not be any need to send so many “mirrors” your way.

6. THE LAW OF YING YANG.  The transition from one opposite to another is what creates balance and diversity in life. One opposite cannot exist without the other. Happiness alternates with sadness, laughter with tears, success with failure, gain with loss. Everything has its beginning and end. When you face a dark phase in your life, know that it will not last forever. This is the circle of life. Very often in order to understand something and appreciate it you have to see the other side of the coin as well.

7. THE LAW OF YOUR OWN WORTH. Other people almost always perceive us the way we perceive ourselves. To be loved and appreciated by others we must first accept and appreciate ourselves. If you are trying to make everyone else like you, you risk losing your true self in the process. You should always strive to be your best self, but never to please others by changing who you really are.

8. THE LAW OF HARMONY. We are all looking for harmony in everything: in the outside world and inside our heart. When you achieve inner harmony, you automatically create harmonious relationships with the outside world. Harmony does not mean the absence of challenges or conflicts that can lead to personal growth. It means that your mind, your feelings and your actions are in line with your life purpose and your most important goals.

9. THE LAW OF COMPLETION. Very often we are looking for relationships that can give us more of what we want, be it material stability, knowledge, or love. We are looking for people and goals that will make us feel complete by providing us with something that we lack. By doing this we are giving the control of our happiness and well-being into the hands of others and we lose our independence. A sense of completion should come from within, and should not depend on others.

10. THE LAW OF RESONSIBILITY. Our reality is just a reflection of you inner thoughts. What does not exist in your consciousness will never happen in reality. Blaming other for your misfortunes is just like trying to stop a truck approaching you at a full speed by cursing the driver. Until YOU jump aside the situation is not going to change. If you want to improve relationships with other people without conflict, manipulation and threats, start by changing your perspective. Making you happy is not anyone else’s responsibility, duty or moral obligation, only your own!

22 Comments
  • Deepak Mehrotra
    November 20, 2009 at 11:44 am

    gud…

  • Augustine Eteng
    November 20, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    love this, thanks for the enlightenment.

  • Ruxandra Dzubaila
    November 20, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    wonderfull

  • Nishant Mittal
    November 20, 2009 at 2:39 pm

    well said

  • Beatrice Amola
    November 21, 2009 at 3:18 am

    Resourceful data, thanks.

  • Olufunmilayo John Adeniyi
    November 21, 2009 at 5:20 am

    Thats truthftul!

  • Ibrahim Odoma
    November 21, 2009 at 5:23 am

    thanks Arina…

  • Benard Omondi
    November 21, 2009 at 10:20 am

    thanks Arina you do inspire many, I, included.

  • Brenda
    November 21, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Wow…this is amazingly inspiring…

  • Brenda
    November 21, 2009 at 10:44 am

    Wow…this is amazingly inspiring…

  • Anushajimol
    November 21, 2009 at 11:54 am

    Appreciated!

  • Segun
    November 23, 2009 at 10:53 am

    God Bless you… You are hghly favoured..

  • Ivelina
    November 24, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Love those laws.They really made me think and have clear goals about my relationships.Thank you,Arina.As usual awesome work.
    warmest regards,Ivelina

  • mustapha(zeebanga
    November 30, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    thats right keep us high, and i am greatful

  • Mom T
    December 2, 2009 at 3:49 am

    The law of Responsibity touches me mostly.Long live Arina!!

  • JAY
    December 5, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    too good…..

  • Ezeana Henry
    December 21, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    This piece is a Bomb. Arina, thank you so much. You have really awakened my inner mind to face my fear squarely. God bless you real good.

  • Ezeana Henry
    December 21, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    Awesome piece. Bravo!!! Cheers. Henry.

  • Maisam Shareh
    January 4, 2010 at 7:10 am

    A very wonderful Idea that can change evryone’s relationshios, you are really inner to my mind and my heart.
    thanks
    Maisam

  • vijay
    January 16, 2010 at 1:15 am

    It’s true introspectional suggestions. Feels valid in all the situations, circumtances. Appreciated

  • Mr MakingUsmile
    December 21, 2010 at 12:21 am

    Very good points. I like your writing style. I will explore more of your site.

  • Radicel
    January 27, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    Thank you! Very well said. You have opened my eyes and showed me to start living my life again.

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