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What is Your Favorite Funny Quote?

Yesterday as I was walking on a treadmill at the gym, reassuring myself that I would feel great after I was done, when I saw a guy wearing a bright orange t-shirt. The slogan on the t-shirt said “Procrastinators: Leaders Of Tomorrow!” When I read it I could not stop laughing, which was challenging as I was trying to keep the same walking pace and not fall off the treadmill.

I am guessing the guy’s initial plan was to persuade everyone to take it easy and relax instead of sweating it out on the exercise machines. But in any case he got a whole bunch of smiles from everyone who saw him.

For me this great little quote was a reminder of how important it is to bring fun into everything you do.

Sometimes if I feel stressed out or upset I put all my work aside and spend 10-20 minutes reading funny quotes of famous people.

Do you have your favorite funny quote(s) that makes you laugh every time you read it? Or maybe your child or your friend said something really funny the other day? What is it?

Share your little funny quotes and stories with the rest of the world! And let’s make this a mood improvement page!

  • Azer Majeed
    March 9, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    "If u don succeed…cheat,repeat untill caught..and then lie" 😉

  • Diana Lane
    March 9, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    1) “Old age is God’s way of making death look good” Sharon Parvizi
    2) “Is life too short to be taking shit, or is life to short to be minding it?” Anne Lamott

  • Eche Thankson
    March 9, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    where achievable goal is not achieved, then criminality or deviance become inevitable.

  • Marylou Sanchez
    March 9, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    Practice makes perfect, but nobody is perfect, so why practice?

  • Lou Sanchez
    March 9, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    Practice makes perfect, but nobody is perfect, so why practice?

  • Ana Beltran P
    March 9, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    "Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves" Lao Tzu

  • Brendan
    March 10, 2010 at 6:08 am

    “Why am I never fully prepared for the totally unexpected”!!

  • Paul
    March 10, 2010 at 7:45 am

    5 out of 4 people can’t do fractions

  • Siddig Ali
    March 10, 2010 at 8:05 am

    Yes, I remember one saying/proverb ” If you couldn’t control it, make it bigger “. the translation might be not perfect. This means that, if you faced a problem (such as a hole), and trid to solve it (to close it), unfortunately, you could; so, make it more harder and harder ( bigger and bigger).
    I believe this is the way of a lazy and short-patience individual. We have to keep trying more and more times til getting the proper solution to the problem whatever it is.

  • Ian R
    March 10, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Making predictions is dangerous..especially when the future is concerned.

    If you always look before you leap you will end up always standing on 1 leg.

  • Bill
    March 11, 2010 at 2:30 am

    42.7% of Statistics are made up on the spot.

  • Mike
    March 11, 2010 at 11:54 am

    Exercise: Ask your doctor if getting of your ass is right for you…

  • Stacy
    March 11, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    That which wears on your nerves, polishes your soul

  • Wayne Hill
    March 12, 2010 at 12:55 am

    It is only the 99.5% of lawyers that give the rest a bad name.

  • eman
    March 12, 2010 at 11:39 am

    selfish person: who burns your house to boil an egg.

  • eman
    March 12, 2010 at 11:41 am

    Talkative person: whom when u ask him , what time is it ?, he explains to you how the watch was invented !

  • eman
    March 12, 2010 at 11:43 am

    A lie can travel the world in no time, while the truth is still wearing its shoes !

  • eman
    March 12, 2010 at 11:47 am

    Age is matter over mind. ! so if you don’t mind, it doens’t matter. Age=matter/mind.

  • Pooja
    March 12, 2010 at 11:27 pm

    empty vessels make much noise!

  • Pooja
    March 12, 2010 at 11:30 pm

    The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.

  • Pooja
    March 12, 2010 at 11:33 pm

    Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

  • anita
    March 13, 2010 at 12:00 am

    life must be understood backwards but must be live forward

  • selvarani
    March 13, 2010 at 9:09 am

    smile to every body, when you still have teeth.

  • adri
    March 15, 2010 at 7:08 am

    Life is too short to dance with ugly men!

  • Ilishebo Michael
    March 15, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    Why practice when you have just done it?There is no better practice than to just do it.

  • Martin
    March 16, 2010 at 8:02 am

    Every so often men will stumble upon the truth, most of them will pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and go on as if nothing ever happened. ~Winston Churchill

  • Martin
    March 16, 2010 at 8:04 am

    Winston Churchill in response to Lady Astor telling him that he was drunk… “And you madam are ugly, but tomorrow I will be sober.”

  • justin
    March 20, 2010 at 2:45 am

    Nothing is Impossible!!!

  • anita
    March 21, 2010 at 4:10 am

    the most rich assest u need to have is to smile

  • Clinton
    March 24, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    I remember the day this came out of my mouth. I was trying to make a friend feel better and I told him that “As far as I was concerned, your only crazy when you cannot hide it any longer for the public at large”.

  • Clinton
    March 25, 2010 at 5:35 am

    Never ever follow a horse act!

  • Buchi
    March 31, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    A journey of a thousand mile begins with a step…

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