The Importance of Forgiveness or How I Was “Hacked”
“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” -Cherie Carter-ScottThis is not one of my usual posts. As the title implies this post is dedicated to forgiveness and there is actually a reason why I am writing about it today.
Last Friday I witnessed something I had only seen before in action movies. I was “hacked”. Not just hacked – hacked in the worst possible way (or so it seemed to me).
I opened my email account just before going to bed, because I was expecting an important work email, and to my great surprise saw over 10 emails from Paypal (my on-line bank), each informing me that my debit card had been charged.
Shocked I logged onto my bank account and saw a long line of transactions from iTunes varying from $40 to $80. As I was trying to understand what had happened two more transactions were made. It felt like a bad dream. You sit in front of your computer and observe the amount of money left in your bank account getting smaller and smaller. And there is nothing you can do to stop it.
When I logged onto my iTunes account I realized that there was no way of cancelling it on-line. I had to wait until Monday to call customer support and explain to them the situation. By then, of course, my bank account would be completely empty.
Fortunately, the situation resolved quickly. One of my best friends had a Paypal account so I just transferred the remaining money there, until I could get hold of an Apple representative and explain to them what had happened.
Later when I searched online to see if anyone else had the same problem, I found loads of forum discussions, where hundreds of people were complaining about being hacked in the past 5-6 months the same way I had been. Many of them had lost all of their money and had had to wait 2-3 months to get it back. I guess this makes me the lucky one, because I had only $481 taken off my account (which is half of my rent).
Anyway, since this post is dedicated to forgiveness, I should probably get back to the topic.
Two years ago if something like this had happened to me, I would have got my consolation in the fact that “what goes around comes around”. And I might have even imagined those guys losing money or breaking their hands 
for stealing from other people (not because they have nothing to eat, but just for the fun of it).
for stealing from other people (not because they have nothing to eat, but just for the fun of it).But fortunately for me none of these thoughts crossed my mind. On the contrary, this incident reminded me that nothing that I thought I owned was ever truly mine. It could be taken away from me in no time, just as it had been given to me. And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it – except to choose how to respond to the situation I am facing.
I had no problem forgiving my “hackers”. I struggled to wish them all the best and to hope that they would enjoy all the music and books that they had downloaded at my expense.
You have probably noticed yourself that it is relatively easy to forgive people, who have wronged us. It is much harder to forget about it and wish with all our heart that they will not be punished for their actions.
But I believe that this is what true forgiveness is all about.
It is not about not accepting the situation and not holding a grudge against someone. It is about working past your hurt and finding compassion in your heart to wish the person happiness and love.
I know that it takes a humongous effort to turn the other cheek when stuck (I am not quite there myself yet), but I also know that an act of compassion can be much more transforming than an act of justified anger or righteous revenge.
“Transforming” not because it will necessarily transform a person who trespassed against us, but because it will help our own spiritual growth.
Every time we sincerely wish someone else happiness, we cultivate it inside our heart and, as a result, become happier ourselves. Just as whenever we chose to bear a grudge against someone, we are poisoning our existence with such emotions as anger, resentment, criticism, hurt, guilt and sense of betrayal.
Truly forgiving someone does not mean that you are approving, dismissing or condoning what this person did to you. It means that you do not take upon yourself the role of a judge and the right to pass sentence.
Let’s practice forgiveness together, shall we?
In a way forgiveness is the perfect opportunity to discover many ways of extending our love to the world and to get better at discarding our hurt ego.
There is a powerful and simple meditation that I turn to every time I need to let go of negative emotions or practice forgiveness.
Here is how to do it:
Tonight before going to bed, sit down comfortably and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and let your body relax. Think of the person who has upset you recently. Holding their image in your mind repeat “I forgive you and send you my love”… “I forgive you and send you my love”… “I forgive you and send you my love”…
At first you might feel that you are repeating it automatically and your heart is not in it. Keep on doing it and try to be as sincere as you possibly can. There will be a moment when saying it will get easier and your heart will become lighter. And soon a wave of joy, freedom and peace will wash over you, leaving all the hurt and anger behind.
This is what true forgiveness feels like.
At least that what it does for me!
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Tags: forgiveness, forgiveness exercise, how to forgive, importance of forgiveness, self growth, spiritual growth
