I have a question for you – is there a difference between intentionally hitting your toes on the dinner table leg or your friend pushing you and then hitting your toes on the dinner table?

As it turns out, the later scenario is a lot more painful than the first one.

Psychologists have done numerous experiments and found out two things about pain:

1. It tends to decrease if our body expects it. For example, let’s say that you are running through a wood and are getting slapped by tree branches as you run. The first impulse of pain will be the strongest one, but then your body will adjust to it and the pain signals will decrease to the point where you no longer notice the branches slapping or scratching your skin.

2. It tends to escalate when we believe someone is hurting us on purpose. When we think that someone does something with the intention of hurting us, our pain signals shot through the roof each time we get hurt. We do not get accustomed or learn to ignore this kind of pain.

Just think of the times when you found yourself infuriated or heartbroken because you believed that another person has said or done something to hurt you on purpose (even when this was not true).

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Every person has their unique, natural, God-given talents, positive traits of character and desire to contribute to the world in some way. Sometimes this inner goodness is temporary overshadowed by fears, harsh words and painful past experiences.

But it does not mean we should not try to see past people’s actions and limiting beliefs and try to bring out the best in every person we see.

I know, it is not your job, nor your duty to bring the best out in people, but take it from me it is a lot nicer to live in a world of bright, kind-hearted and compassionate people than deal with “ungrateful family members”, “hard-headed clients” and “slack co-workers”.

In fact, learning to bring out the best in other people is one of the best gifts that you can give yourself. True, it might not always be easy. It might not always be appreciated. It might not even work in some cases, but it does not mean we should stop trying.

Here is a little guide on how to do it:

1. Do not take negativity personally.

“Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it.” – Rene Descartes

Can you think of a time when you were bubbling with joy and love for the whole world? You wanted to share it with everyone you met, right? Well, when people are overcome by negative feelings, they unintentionally share them with the world as well.

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Today many of us are probably busy planning romantic dinners, choosing gifts for our beloved ones and writing St. Valentine’s Day cards.

No matter what we do, our thoughts turn to love and romance. I am not an exception.
That is why today I want to talk to you about true love, expressed without condition and expectations, love that we long for and hope to find.

Sometimes when we fall in love, we think “This is the person of my dreams”, but as the years go by, we realize that what we felt had nothing to do with love. It was something else all together. And at other times love comes softly. It starts with sympathy, with mutual respect, with desire to share each other’s company. And slowly these feelings flourish into life-long love.

So what is true love? And is there a difference between that and the heart-pounding adrenaline rush we feel when you see a handsome guy working out in the gym or when you meet a cute girl who makes eye contact as she passes by?

Does it have anything to do with a feeling of “floating on clouds” like Hollywood movies often show? Is love an emotion at all? Certainly love is accompanied by strong feelings, but they cannot be our only criteria for love. A relationship simply would not last long on emotions, would it?

What does your experience tell you?

Are there any qualifiers that make love “true”?

How do we really know if it is real love we feel?

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