Every action and every result always starts with an idea. Brilliant ideas can come from almost anywhere: our previous experience, an overheard conversation, a movie scene, a stressful situation, a dream. It took an apple falling from a tree to discover the force of gravity and an overflowing bath to come up with Archimedes’ principle.

But the common thread of any idea is that a person is faced with a difficulty or a problem. If we are not happy with an existing situation our brain immediately starts looking for possible solutions and a new idea is born. In reality you might have a wonderful idea in the corner of your mind for years, like an artifact, priceless, but useless unless it gets brought out into the light.

However, the better and more important this idea is to you, the greater are the chances that you will act on it cautiously, because you want to get it right the first time.

It makes sense. No one wants to spend time and effort, pursuing something that might not work out at the end.

But let us take a look at it from a different perspective. You have been toying with an idea that you think is worth trying. It may be a great opportunity to change your life for the better. But your mind generates excuses that may spoil it for you.

Let me explain why it is almost impossible to avoid mistakes and setbacks when you are doing something for the first time.

In order to be right in your decisions 100% of the time, you need to base them on complete, timely and accurate information. Let us take a look on how realistic this is.

Every second our brain is bombarded with about 8 million pieces of information. If you received all of them, you would probably go crazy within the first couple minutes. This is why at the base of our brain there is a Reticular Activation System (RAS) that works as a filter. The RAS decides which messages enter the brain. RAS allows through only information that it considers “useful” at that moment. Which information passes through depends on our thoughts, belief system, current interests, and previous experience. Everything else will be blocked out as ‘noise’. 

This explains why on average we remember only 10-30 per cent of the information that we see, hear or read.

The human brain is unable to understand new information, without the inherent bias of its previously acquired knowledge. It means that your perception of reality and truth does not reflect objective reality itself. It is only your perception. Now tell me how can you make a 100% correct decision if the information that you possess is partial and distorted by your perception?

Judging from my personal experience, behind desire to get something right the first time is hidden something totally different.

1. Perfectionism

Perfectionism in its positive form can be beneficial, as it can provide the motivation and drive you forward to great achievements. However, pervasive attitude that whatever you attempt to do in life must be done perfect the first time, with no mistakes, deviations or slip ups can ruin any chance of success.

Perfectionists may drive themselves to physical exhaustion working extra hours, trying to get everything done ‘perfectly’. They may mentally beat themselves up for days for something as insignificant as a word out of place. They may destroy their productivity by wasting time and energy on small irrelevant details. They may be unhappy in their personal life, as they are so intent on finding the perfect mate.

In its pathological form belief that you and/or your environment must be perfect can be extremely damaging as a person may feel a constant urge to be better than others. It leads to low self esteem, feelings of guilt and depression, pessimism, rigidity and obsessiveness at work and in personal life.

If you feel that you have to prove that you are better than others and should avoid making mistakes at all costs, think about this – it is highly unlikely that any one person can be better than all the other 6.692 billion people in the world at anything. If we believe that we need to be better than somebody else, rather than just being the best we can, we are setting ourselves up for constant disappointments and failure.

2. Fear Of Failure / Fear Of Success

Why people have a fear of failure is clear, but why would anyone fear success? For the same reason one fears failure. Often we are afraid that if we achieve a certain goal, we might not be able to continue and maintain this level of achievement. And the higher you get in life the more painful it is to fall.

There is only one way to avoid failure all together – never try. The same principle holds true if you want to avoid success. Never try and you will stay exactly where you are.

Failing is an inevitable part of being successful. That is why highly successful people not only have failed numerous times, but are also good at failing.

So why do most of us feel pressure and anxiety about failure? Because in our mind “success” equals “being right” and, therefore, good. Consequently failure equals “wrong”, which is “bad”.

However, in most cases it is a fear of failure that hurts us a lot more than the failure itself. We all have enough courage and strength to face difficulties and deal with the worst. It does not mean that we are looking forward to it, but we can handle it. What scares us is not a failure per se, but the UNKNOWN.  Not being sure what will happen creates anxiety, tension, worry, distress and desire to escape the whole situation all together.

If you want to open up your full potential you have to face your fears and accept that failure is a normal healthy part of life. Moreover, it gives you something that you can never buy or exchange – valuable experience. The sooner you learn to bend rather than break under pressure of failure, the faster you will reach your goals and achieve stellar success.

3. Procrastination

The most common excuse I hear people use when they consciously procrastinate is, “I can’t start my project until I know the ‘right’ way to do it”. The only question I ask in return is, “How do you know that there is just one ‘right’ way?”

Your ultimate goal is your final destination point. There are many different roads that lead to it. Sure, you can take the shortest way or a detour, but the bottom line is – you will get there anyway. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that you should not plan your actions in advance. Just do not waste your time over preparing. The longer you wait to find the “right” way to do things, the more pressure you put on yourself. The bigger your expectations grow. The harder it is to start actually doing something. If before you were waiting for ‘good timing’, now you are waiting for an obvious proof that your idea will turn out to be success. A great opportunity is not enough to make you take action on it. Stars must align the ‘right way’, the sky should open and the Voice should tell you, “Paul! Yes, I’m talking to you… Your idea is brilliant! Get off your butt already and act on it!”.

If you have an idea that you think is worth trying do not wait too long, as “Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the one you miss”. 

4. Over-analysis

Have you ever played chess? In the start of the game you have a large number of moves that you can make. Now imagine yourself analyzing every single move you take and then analyzing all of your opponent’s possible responses to your each and every move. The chances are that 20 minutes later you will still be staring at the chess board feeling totally confused and unsure what move to make.

This situation is called ‘analysis paralysis’. It happens when the sheer quantity of analysis overwhelms decision-making process. It would make a lot more sense to make the first move, wait for the opponent’s response and then analyze your next move. One move at a time.

Similar we often focus our energy on too many insignificant details, trying to figure out what might go wrong in the process and devoting too much time to “what if” questions. When all we have to do is to take the first step towards our goal and deal with the possible problems as they come along.

5. Need To Control The Situation

We like to plan things out. We like to be able to know what is going to happen. We like to predict what other people will do, say or think. We spend a great deal of time trying to control outcomes. But let us face it! Our beautiful ‘perfect’ plans get cancelled. Things do not always go the way we want them to. People do not always act as we expect, moreover, sometimes they do exactly the opposite of what we want them to do!

There are a lot of things beyond our power, competency, authority, responsibility and even understanding. You can either accept and that or continue to worry about things that you cannot influence or change.

Whenever you feel a strong urge to control things that you are powerless to change, try to let go of them all together or at least loosen the grip. Will you?

6. Responsibility

What is responsibility, actually? In a modern dictionary it is described as “A duty, obligation or liability for which someone is responsible or accountable.” So far everything is clear. A person needs to accept responsibility for their own life, actions, emotions, and happiness. But should we feel obligated to live up to our parent’s expectations? Or feel responsible for other people’s well-being? Do we have to view it as our duty to provide for our family? Should we compromise our own happiness to make another person feel content?

There is one simple example that to me explains the whole concept of responsibility and answers all of these complicated “moral” questions.

When you are told the safety instructions in an airplane, you are always informed that in case of emergency you should always put your own oxygen mask first and then help others.

Similarly, first you need to take responsibility for your own life and happiness and then everyone else’s, if you choose to do so.

If you can not stand your job, but keep doing it, because you feel that you must support your family, pause! Then rethink… Do you really believe that your spouse is happy to see you, when you come home irritated and stressed out because you had another ‘awful day’? Do you think your kids enjoy growing up with a parent who is always busy or too tired to pay any attention to them? Or would they prefer to have less toys, and for you to be there when they need you?

If you are giving up on your dream, because you want to make your parents proud or because you are afraid to disappoint them – stop! Do you think that when in a couple of years time you throw into their faces that they have ruined your life, they will be just as content? Do you really think that they want you to feel angry with yourself and the whole world because you are forced to live a life you never wanted? 

Your family, friends, and people you know all want you to be happy. The question is, what is it that you want?

7. Low Self-Esteem

Often behind our doubts and fearfulness to take risks is hidden a lack of belief in our own abilities and low self-confidence.

When you feel insecure or have trouble making decision, pay attention to your inner dialogue. If you are telling yourself again and again that you are not ‘good enough’, ‘smart enough’, ‘talented enough’, ‘lucky enough’ this will reflect in your behavior, your personality and your actions.

Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every part of your life, including your relationships, your career and your health.

It urges a person to seek constant approval and recognition of others. Or it can make them feel chronically hostile or depressed over how unfairly they are being treated. Both of these behaviors are very destructive as they make us helpless and unworthy. 

Low self-esteem is often the result of negative mental filtering. Do you remember RAS? We let only those messages go through that we consider important or true. If over the years you have developed a negative belief about your abilities, this is what your mind will concentrate on. It will selectively look for the proof of your inability to achieve your goals. Your mind will reject your achievements insisting that they do not count and dwell on negatives, distorting your view of the reality.

To boost your self-esteem you have to start paying attention to the messages that you send into your subconsciousness. Make sure that you do not confuse feelings with facts! For example, “I made a mistake on that report” – is a fact. “Now everyone will think that I’m a failure” – are your personal negative feelings that do not reflect the reality. 

Practice positive thoughts and eventually you will eliminate negative programming and noticeably improve your self-esteem. Keep in mind that you have more ability in you than you think you do. You just have to start believing in yourself and you will be amazed at how much your life will change.

8. Poor Time Management Skills

Often even if we have a great idea in mind, we simply do not have time to get to it, because of a million little tasks that require our immediate attention. Most of us stay busy all day long, but when we look back, we realize that what we did was only the ‘tip of the iceberg’. If you often find yourself feeling exhausted after a long work day, you might not realize that you are actually working out of order. Are you tired of upcoming deadlines? Do you feel stressed out because you have stay at work extra hours? Does it seem like there is never enough time to get everything done? All of these are clear signs that you have to learn how to prioritize. Always tackle most important tasks first. Anything that can wait until later should be put on the back burner. Before getting to another ‘urgent’ task ask yourself, “Will it matter to me next week/in a month/a year from now?” If the answer is “no” cross it off your list and do not do it! Time is a limited resource. To make the most of it you should spend it wisely.

9. Rigidity

We live in the world of technology and innovation. Almost every day we meet new people, learn a lot of new information, make some serious decisions, face multiple possibilities and resolve important problems. With the world changing so fast, you really need to stay flexible and adjust quickly to that change.

However, it is not always easy to do. Our mind naturally tends to stay in the “comfort zone” and resists any change and uncertainty. This explains why frequently people prefer to settle for less than to risk this “comfortable” routine and follow bigger dreams. By always “playing it safe” and staying in your own closed-off universe you are closing your mind to new possibilities, interesting ideas and valuable advice. Unless you make an effort to get out of the “comfort zone” and open your eyes to the opportunities you will continue to avoid taking risks and set goals below your limits.

Be open to various options and make it a point to always continue learning. Trust your abilities, talents, and instincts and you will be assured of success!