There are leaders that we eagerly follow, hang on their every word and come to them looking for guidance. Then there are bosses. You know – the annoying, close-minded, stubborn control freaks that everyone dislikes and complains about?

Taken out of context they could be wonderful people, loving husbands or wives, devoted fathers or mothers, and passionate golf-players.

But…

When it comes to leading, organizing and empowering people, bosses’ social status by far exceeds their leadership abilities.

Fortunately for us (and for the bosses) there is hope, because with the right guidance and dedication leadership skills can be developed and improved.

• So how do you take a mediocre boss and transform them into a Charismatic Leader?
• What are the main qualities that define inborn leaders that attract loyal followers wherever they go?
• What is the secret of their carefree success?

I found that at the base of any leadership success and charisma lay 3 Powerful Beliefs:

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Our life is a direct result of the choices that we have made at each point along the way and we do not always do a good job at deciding what is best for us.

If we all made sound judgments we would not act irrationally, engage in needless conflicts, forego gains in order to spite others, make impulsive purchases, marry wrong partners and wrongly invade other countries. But the truth is that we do all of the above without even realizing how much our decision-making mistakes are costing us.

Unfortunately, it is not always simple to make the right decision and behave ‘optimally’.
However, there are a few things that we can do to noticeably improve our decision making skills and reduce the number of less than perfect choices that we rightly call “mistakes”:

1. Consider ‘opportunity’ cost.

Making good decisions does not always mean weighting costs against benefits. You have to take into consideration the ‘opportunity cost’ or what you give up by choosing another option. For example, reading friends’ updates on facebook can be a form of enjoyment and relaxation, but this is the time you could be spending doing something way more enjoyable like playing badminton with a friend, writing for your blog or jogging.

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Over 70 years ago Dale Carnegie wrote his 15 million copy best-seller, “How To Win Friends & Influence People”. Many things have changed since then – the invention of the mobile phone, the Internet and social networks. However, while our ways of communication might have evolved we are still facing the same communication challenges our grandparents faced.

How often do we scratch our head, puzzled at what we could have possibly said or done to offend someone we like? How often do we fail to connect with another person no matter how hard we try to get along? How often do we feel invisible at parties and social gatherings (or wish we were invisible, because meeting new people is just plain stressful for us)?
Deep down we all want to make new friends, to win people’s trust and, let’s be honest, to become more likable.

Here are a few tips for making people like you and follow your lead:

1. Be approachable

In order for people to like you, they have to get to know you. In order for them to get to know you, they have to approach you and feel comfortable in your company. Many leaders think that in order to influence people, they have to assume an air of superiority around themselves. This is one of the biggest communication mistakes they could ever make. No one likes to think of themselves as “inferior” and no one likes to be treated that way. If you want to win friends easily and influence people, let go of your ego. People will not like you, because you are better than them. They will like you because YOU make THEM feel better about themselves.

2. Engage

If you expect to get people absorbed into conversation and make them hang on every word you say, you have to grab their attention and interest so they hear what you want to tell them. It is not always as easy as it may seem. Most people have developed a skill of half-listening and half-thinking about their plans for the day, a message they received from a friend or about the next thing they want to say.

I found that whether you talk in front of a large audience or chit-chat with a person you have just met, there are several things you can do to grab their full attention and engage them into the conversation:

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