Ok, I admit. This is not something I read in the Europe’s Journal of Psychology. Nor has it been proven by any scientific research or backed up by a team of well-known psychology experts.

What I am about to share with you is my own theory that was inspired and conceived during my last 9-hour flight from Italy to New York.

My argument and my conclusion is that the older we get, the more stubbornly we ignore everyday miracles that surround us.

Let’s take flying for example…

Can you remember your first trip on a plane? How did you feel, looking out of the window and watching how a huge airplane picks up speed and slowly takes off the ground, leaving behind the roof tops, long streamers of roads and the perfectly delineated squares of green and yellow fields.

I observed people around me today and all I saw was mild boredom and slight frustration about the plane being 45 minutes late. When did flying become just a convenient vehicle that allows us to get from point A to point B? Isn’t it a miracle that we are able to surmount the force of gravity and rise above the clouds?

When I was little I was practically glued to the window the whole time the plane flew, imagining that this is how the God sees the Earth. I felt powerful. I still do, when I distract myself from voracious “What time will they serve lunch?” thoughts and take a moment to glance out of the window on the frothy, ever-changing sea of white clouds floating below.

Now, getting back to my theory about us losing our ability to get amazed at little things…

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“Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

I wonder how much different our lives would be, if together with learning about logarithms and vector additions at school, we were also taught the ‘Rules of Life’. After all, no matter how old, intelligent and powerful we are, we are all enrolled in a full-time ‘informal’ school called “Life”. Each day we either learn our lessons, or fail and have to deal with the consequences.

And just as in a regular school, we all have our ‘mentors’, who guide us and readily share their hard-earned knowledge with us.

Below is a list of 35 Little Rules of Life I try to live by. Hopefully, you will find them useful as well!

1. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People, who do not have dreams, do not have much.

2. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

3. Give charitably, generously, and anonymously.

4. Know that the building blocks of a happy relationship are: love, respect, trust and compromise. Take away one and the whole construction becomes shaky.

5. Do not bring the past up into your current relationships.

6. Respect and take care of your body. It is a temple that holds your Soul.

7. Do not chase after success. Instead help others to succeed and it will soon come your way!

8. When you lose, do not lose the lesson!

9. Define your own success. It is the only definition that truly matters!

10. Remember that nothing in life is permanent. Therefore, do not get too attached to your victories, and do dwell on your failures. They will pass.

11. Learn to forgive and forget.

12. Be gentle with Earth! Preserve it for your children.

13. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

14. Do not go to the extremes. Every good concept, belief or action becomes destructive if taken to the extreme. Leave people the right to choose what to believe in.

15. Challenge yourself! This is the only way to grow and stretch your abilities.

16. Never let anyone come to you and leave without being happier!

17. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

18. Strive for relationships, where your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

19. Learn to cook one thing really well.

20. Finish what you start. Success is less about talent and potential, and more about commitment. Become committed to your dreams!

21. Smile when answering the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

22. When you compliment someone, mean it with all your heart!

23. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

24. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat YOU.

25. Let yourself be vulnerable! Do not be afraid to open up to people. You do not become strong, by hiding your weaknesses, you become strong by finding courage to be yourself.

26. Realize that happiness is not something you “obtain”. It is something you find within yourself.

27. If a problem looks too difficult to resolve, sleep on it! It will seem much smaller by the time you wake up.

28. Do not judge people by their relatives, their education or their clothes.

29. Do not work for Money – Work for a Cause! Money is just a tool to get your basic needs met. It is not something to live for.

30. Every person you meet is your mirror. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects back to you something you love or hate about yourself!

31. Learn to enjoy your own company.

32. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.

33. Much of your pain is self-chosen. Just as much as your happiness is.

34. If you can change a situation you do not like – do it, if you cannot- let go!

35. There is a bit of magic in everything! Look closely…

Are there any Rules of Life that you have learned and try to live by?

I have a question for you – Are you happy? It is not a complicated question. A simple “Yes” or “No” will do just fine. But when we are caught off guard, we usually say something like, “What is happiness anyway?”, “At the moment I am quite satisfied with my life”, “I have a great spouse and 2 wonderful children. What else could I ask for?”

It is not often that I meet people, who respond to this seemingly challenging question with a simple “Yes”. Yesterday however I met a woman like that.

She was radiating joy, peace and happiness. And she was not a spiritual teacher, highly successful business lady or the wife of an oil magnate.

She cooks and serves meals in a tiny Ayurvedic café, located right in the middle of a yoga center. She had brought my food over to me and since at that moment my friend and I were her only clients, she started chatting with us. As it turned out, she does not have a degree, because she got married very early. Her husband died a few years later, leaving her with a young child to look after. And now that her daughter has turned 18 and moved out of the house to study in England, she is left by herself. This woman had every reason to feel lonely, bitter and unsatisfied with her life and yet she was one of the happiest people I have ever seen.

I asked her what her secret is and she just laughed, saying that there is no secret. But the more she talked to me, the more I understood about how she sees life and how she thinks.

If you, like me, are wondering why some people have everything necessary to be happy and yet they are miserable, and why others have absolutely no reason to be happy, yet they radiate love, kindness and peace, here the Simple Guide to Long-Lasting Happiness and Joy from one of the happiest people I have ever met (apply it to your own life and I guarantee that it will work for you as well):

1. Count what counts.

Often when it comes to finding happiness, we base our choices on emotions rather than the desires of our true self. We just kind of choose the next thing we want and then ask ourselves “How can I get it?” But we rarely know the true reason of WHY we pursue something in the first place. The first step to becoming happier and more aware of the core motivation behind your desires, is to shift your focus from what you can get to what adds value to your life.

Ask yourself “What is one intangible thing I can count today (be it at work or at home) that makes my life meaningful?”

For example, for me, my work is not about the amount of money that I make per hour (although, I do have to pay my bills). It is about the difference that I make in my own and other people’s life during that hour of work. I have noticed that the less I focus on “making money”, the better I work and the happier I feel. What about you? What counts in your life?

Hint: it is intangible!

2. Stop chasing after happiness.

In western culture, happiness is perceived as any goal. And therefore, according to our logic it can be achieved with enough persistence and determination. As someone who has taught Goal Setting for over 10 years, I can tell you that it does not work like this. Happiness is not something that we can reach if we do X,Y or Z. It is an inner state of peace, joy, love and gratitude. And since it comes from within, trying to search for it outside of yourself is similar to traveling across the oceans to look for a needle that you have actually lost in your own house.

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