“Realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity” – Will Smith

When a little boy says “I want to be an astronaut” – we smile at him and say, “Sure, honey, you can be anything you want to be!” When a twenty five year old man makes the same statement, we say, “Hey, be realistic!” Which basically means, “settle for something that brings you no satisfaction, just because you know you can get it”.

What happened in the 15 years that made a perfectly capable human-being turn into perfectly incapable grown-up, whose only choice in life is to get a degree in a highly- demanding field, find a regular job, work 30 + years and hopefully save enough money for retirement? It is as if in the course of our adulthood years instead of perfecting our skills, tripling our IQ, gaining valuable experience we are somehow getting dumber and less talented.

Common sense would suggest that if we could have accomplished everything we wanted at the age of 5, we are even more capable of doing it at the age of 25 or 50.

And since you and I are sensible people, let’s forget about the most depressing, demotivating, dream-killing cliché’s of our time to “be realistic” and go for something that we actually want and can accomplish!

Here are 9 ways to start achieving unrealistically realistic success:

1. Readjust your goals. When I first voiced my idea about quitting a regular job and starting my own website I got “worried” looks, ironic remarks and I was warned at least 700 times that it is a “crazy idea that is not going to work”. Now when I explain to people what I do I am told how lucky I am.

I honestly do not believe that success starts or is based on luck, intelligence, determination or some extraordinary talents. It starts with a big vision that is worth working for.

Take a look at your goal.

• Is it motivating?
• Is it inspiring?
• Is it the greatest goal ever?

If not, than perhaps you have made it too realistic. Psychological research shows that challenging goals lead to increased motivation and improved performance. It makes sense – the bigger the goal is, the more strongly we want to achieve it.

2. Think differently. If you do whatever everyone else is doing you will get the same results as everyone else is getting. Which is fine if this is what you want, but if you feel that you could do more/ be more/ achieve more, why settling for less?

All of the greatest discoveries, multi-billion dollar companies and break through- accomplishments were done by people, who thought differently from the rest of the world and were not afraid to put their vision into action.

3. Ignore the “realistic dudes”. They say that you should not go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Just as you should not ask a person who has achieved very little, advice on success. Before listening to “kind-hearted” advice to give up on your goals or think smaller, consider this – most people who claim to “be realistic” spend 95% of their time worrying about things that will never happen.

There is a huge difference between having your feet firmly on the ground and making Murphy’s Law “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong” your life credo. Do not let the “realistic dudes” dampen your self-confidence and prevent you from going after your goals. Listen to yourself! You already know all the right answers!

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We have so many different goals and desires. Some of us want to build a successful, thriving career. Some of us dream about meeting that special person, falling in love and spending your whole life together. Some of us want to remain young, healthy and full of energy. Some of us want to make tons of money and never worry about paying bills or having to work two jobs again. Some of us would like to drive a new shiny black Ferrari and feel cool. And some of us, like my 3-year-old niece, just want to have a stuffed pink dog with white fluffy ears.

What do I want? Many different things (including lots of money and a stuffed pink dog ).

But, I guess, the biggest dream I had for the longest time was to buy a summer house somewhere on the beach. You know, a white one, with huge windows that face the sea, with a spacious patio on the first floor and a cozy fireplace that would keep me and my family warm during rainy evenings.

There are so many wonderful things about having a beach house. You could wake up early in morning, stroll barefoot along the beach, breathe the fresh salty air, and feel warm sand under your feet. You could invite friends over for a cook out, grill meat on the patio, drink wine and laugh together. You could admire a breathtaking sunset while holding hands with the person you love. A lovely dream, isn’t it?

Well, I had this goal for over two years. I could picture it in my mind in the smallest detail, and yet nothing happened. The Law of Attraction was not working! I kept hoping and visualizing, working and waiting, but no matter how much I tried, I was not moving any closer to my desire.

Do you know what I am talking about? You try and fail, try again, but nothing seems to change and after some time you start wondering what you are doing wrong.

Of course, there could be hundreds of different reasons, why we fail to achieve our goals, starting from lack of motivation, lack of money, lack of persistence, to lack of self-discipline or lack of time… In general, anything that starts with a word “lack” could serve as a plausible excuse for our misfortunes and failures. But I do not think the true reason is the lack of anything.

I believe that often we do not get what we want, because we are not ready to receive it. I know it may sound weird, but hear me out.

Whenever we start blaming our inability to achieve the goal that we want on lack of something, we are simply shifting responsibility to external factors that are outside of our control. “God’s punishment”, “bad karma”, “terrible character”, “genetics” – all of these phrases have one thing in common – we can not do anything about them. And, therefore, it is not our fault.

In my case, I realized that I only wanted to have all the good parts of having a beach house, and none of the troubles. When I looked deep down inside myself I realized that I am simply not ready to accept the responsibilities that come hand in hand with my goal. I do not want to fix the roof if it starts leaking. I do not want to sweep the floor twice a day, because there is sand all over the place. I do not want to worry about robbers and floods. I do not want to decide whether I want to rent the house, while I am not living in it or just keep it closed for nine months a year. And I, definitely, had never pictured myself staying locked up in the house if it rained for a week.

Of course, you may think that I am saying all this just to make myself feel better about the goal that I have not accomplished or to rationalize my failures. And maybe, you are right. Maybe on some subconscious level I am doing just that. But I do not think so. I believe that desire is not something that we wish to have just for the heck of having it.

Desire is responsibility. And in most cases we can attain our goal only when we are ready to accept full responsibility for it, as well as all the ‘after effects’ of it.

It is like having a child. When you are ready for it, you just know. And you realize it is not going to be easy and that you will have to deal with diapers, burps and many-many sleepless nights, but you still want it, because all these things stop to matter the second your baby looks up at you and gives you a huge smile. That is how you know that you are ready to accept responsibility and truly enjoy it.

Now go ahead and take a look at the goal that you have been trying to achieve for a long time? What are the responsibilities that come along with it? Are you mentally prepared to face all the challenges that your might encounter after accomplishing what you wanted? Are you sure?

If your answer is “yes!” than I have no doubt that you will get whatever you have set your mind on. But if whenever you think about your goal, deep down you feel that strange resistance or that it might not be what you truly want, then I suggest you let go of this goal and direct your energy into something that will bring you a lot more satisfaction in the long run.

They say, “Be careful what you wish for”, because if you keep insisting, you just might get it…