“Most people think resources or the lack thereof hold them back. In fact it is not lack of resources but rather lack of resourcefulness that truly prevents people from achieving their dreams” -Anthony Robbins

Usually when we do not reach our goals there are several key factors that we name to explain our “failures”: lack of money, lack of experience, lack of time, lack of necessary technology, and lack of support. This is true. Many of us may lack all these things, BUT! There is a “but”…

We can acquire anything we want, given a little bit of creativity and determination.

If you think about it, there is plenty of money to go around. Ask Bill Gates if you have doubts about it. He will tell you.
There is also no such thing as lack of time. We have all been given the same number of hours a day. And it is up to us to decide how to use these 24 hours. Take Barak Obama, for example. He is a very busy person. There is no doubt about it. And, yet, he finds the time to exercise regularly. After this it becomes almost embarrassing to use lack of time as an excuse to postpone our health goals. Because let’s face it, neither of us can claim that we are busier or have more important tasks on our to-do list than the president of the United States.

We may believe that we lack resources, but I tend to agree with Antony Robbins -lack of resources is not a defining factor to whether or not we will accomplish anything in life. The defining factor is our resourcefulness. If you are creative, determined and resourceful enough, you will find a way to achieve your goals no matter what.

However, there are several obstacles that can stop us from being resourceful:

1. Fear.

Fear’s main function is to protect us from harm and help to escape dangerous situations. However, this protection mechanism that helped our ancestors to survive in the past has become one of the main blocks to resourcefulness for most of us.

• Every time we have doubts about starting our own business or learning a new skill, because it may prove not to be a worthy investment, we act out of fear.
• Every time we turn down a new opportunity, because there is some risk involved, we act out of fear.
• Every time we do not ask for help, because we are afraid to look “weak”, “foolish” or “inadequate”, we act out of fear.

I wish I could tell you that there is a hidden “fear switch” that you can turn on and off whenever you wish.

Unfortunately, there is only one effective method to overcome our fears – do more of what we fear.

You might have started something in the past and it did not work out the way you initially planned. This happens to the best of us. Every person has their own personal baggage of failures, mistakes and set-backs. But it is not a good enough reason to stop trying!

2. Social conditioning.

It is hard to be resourceful and believe that everything is possible, when we are constantly told what we can or cannot do, when we are politely pointed out our shortcomings and past failures, or when we are taught that success is for the very few, who have been born under a lucky star, or more specifically into a wealthy family. All this negative social conditioning creates our inner blocks that hold us back, even when we could have been moving forward.

Do not accept blindly everything that you are told. There is a huge difference between constructive feedback and negative conditioning. The first one motivates you into improving something about yourself or your life. The second one makes you feel unworthy, helpless and inadequate.

3. Lack of self-confidence.

There are plenty of resources up there. The problem is that many people do not believe that they deserve them. They dream about what they love to do, but when it comes to planning or going after those dreams, they do not even bother. A little voice inside of them says “There is no way YOU can do it”. You might be telling yourself that you do not deserve success, because you lack talent, self-confidence, education or will power.

But the truth is that success is not some kind of reward given for being a “perfect son/daughter”, an “A” student or “employee of the month”. Success is a result of aligning your passion, energy and your goals together. It starts with finding out what you want to do and gathering courage to go after your dreams.

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“Realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity” – Will Smith

When a little boy says “I want to be an astronaut” – we smile at him and say, “Sure, honey, you can be anything you want to be!” When a twenty five year old man makes the same statement, we say, “Hey, be realistic!” Which basically means, “settle for something that brings you no satisfaction, just because you know you can get it”.

What happened in the 15 years that made a perfectly capable human-being turn into perfectly incapable grown-up, whose only choice in life is to get a degree in a highly- demanding field, find a regular job, work 30 + years and hopefully save enough money for retirement? It is as if in the course of our adulthood years instead of perfecting our skills, tripling our IQ, gaining valuable experience we are somehow getting dumber and less talented.

Common sense would suggest that if we could have accomplished everything we wanted at the age of 5, we are even more capable of doing it at the age of 25 or 50.

And since you and I are sensible people, let’s forget about the most depressing, demotivating, dream-killing cliché’s of our time to “be realistic” and go for something that we actually want and can accomplish!

Here are 9 ways to start achieving unrealistically realistic success:

1. Readjust your goals. When I first voiced my idea about quitting a regular job and starting my own website I got “worried” looks, ironic remarks and I was warned at least 700 times that it is a “crazy idea that is not going to work”. Now when I explain to people what I do I am told how lucky I am.

I honestly do not believe that success starts or is based on luck, intelligence, determination or some extraordinary talents. It starts with a big vision that is worth working for.

Take a look at your goal.

• Is it motivating?
• Is it inspiring?
• Is it the greatest goal ever?

If not, than perhaps you have made it too realistic. Psychological research shows that challenging goals lead to increased motivation and improved performance. It makes sense – the bigger the goal is, the more strongly we want to achieve it.

2. Think differently. If you do whatever everyone else is doing you will get the same results as everyone else is getting. Which is fine if this is what you want, but if you feel that you could do more/ be more/ achieve more, why settling for less?

All of the greatest discoveries, multi-billion dollar companies and break through- accomplishments were done by people, who thought differently from the rest of the world and were not afraid to put their vision into action.

3. Ignore the “realistic dudes”. They say that you should not go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Just as you should not ask a person who has achieved very little, advice on success. Before listening to “kind-hearted” advice to give up on your goals or think smaller, consider this – most people who claim to “be realistic” spend 95% of their time worrying about things that will never happen.

There is a huge difference between having your feet firmly on the ground and making Murphy’s Law “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong” your life credo. Do not let the “realistic dudes” dampen your self-confidence and prevent you from going after your goals. Listen to yourself! You already know all the right answers!

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For many of us January is one month of the year when we reflect on what we would like to change in our life, set goals, start new projects, decide to let go of negative habits and improve our character. I honestly believe that if we all managed to keep the same level of motivation, excitement and determination as we have in January, for the rest year, we would not need to read books about overcoming procrastination or staying focused on our goals.

Unfortunately, February comes and our enthusiasm and commitment wears thin. We find ourselves slowly slipping back to our old habits and old lifestyle. And finally, after about a month-and-a-half we throw our hands up in the air and declare, “Forget about it! It is too hard”. Then, of course, we wait for the next year to try again.

This year can be different!

Here are Seven Top Tips to help you stick to your New Year’s resolutions throughout the rest of the year:

1.    Have realistic expectations. In the best tradition of the  holiday season, when we decide to pursue a certain goal, we often overestimate our future level of motivation and productivity and underestimate possible implications that we might encounter on our way. Do not expect to see immediate results of your efforts. Miracles do happen, but only to people who are willing to wait for them! Keep that in mind when you set deadlines for your goals.

Solution: Imagine that my New Year’s resolution is very similar to yours. How long do you think it will take me to reach this goal, given that I have a full time job, two young children that I have to pick up after school and a Salsa Class on Wednesdays and Fridays? So what is your verdict? Most likely, this is the same deadline you should consider for yourself. It has been proven that we are a lot better at making estimations for other people than for ourselves.

2. Pick just one goal. I know that it might be tempting to go after one career-related goal, one personal life goal, one health goal, one self-improvement goal and top that all off with a three-week vacation, a great book that you are dying to write and Japanese language courses that you always wanted to take. Have you ever tried juggling with 3-7 tennis balls? Try it. I bet you, that you will drop at least two balls on your first try. Juggling with 3-7 goals is no different. You will give up on all of them before you know it.

Solution: Prioritize. Choose just one resolution that is the most important to you at the moment and fully concentrate your efforts on it. The rest of the resolutions on your list can wait.

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When we fail to accomplish something, we try to explain to ourselves and others why it happened. Sometimes we understand the true reasons and learn from our mistakes. And sometimes we are just making up excuses.

Here are the 5 worst Goal-Setting excuses. Make sure that you do not rationalize (read “rational – lies”) your inability of achieving your goals too much.

1. “I need to learn ALL the information, before I apply it!”

This is the perfectionist speaking in you. Desire to make it perfect is a huge roadblock to your growth, and productivity. If you believe that you must learn everything you possibly can about goal setting before actually setting a goal, you will most likely achieve very little or nothing. The truth is that humans learn best by a trial-and-error method. You cannot become a professional, unless you start as a beginner. Similar you cannot say which goal setting techniques work best for you, unless you actually try them.

Solution: As difficult as it may seem to let go of your desire to do everything perfectly, you must do it. Apply what you learn immediately to see how it works in real life. It might not work out, but you will still gain valuable insight from the experience. On the other hand, if you do not try you WILL fail for sure.

2. “I don’t have time”
This is a good one (especially when it is stated with a slightly desperate tone of voice). It implies that you are really busy doing something else that is VERY important. I often used this excuse myself, but in the long run if you are very busy, if you continuously worry about being late, if you do not have time to pursue your goals and improve your quality of life it can mean two things:1) you are not managing your time right; 2) you can not get your priorities straight. Sometimes it is actually both.

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Have you ever said that you are going to do something, wrote it down in our to-do list, but then despite all of your good intentions, somehow you didn’t do it?

These uncompleted tasks suck our energy, make us feel guilty and don’t let us relax for one second, and yet we continue to postpone them!

Why do we do it?

Psychologists say that it is because we are genetically coded to be “avoidance machines”! We are hard wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. And when I say pain, I actually mean any task that: a) sounds boring or not urgent, b) requires certain amount of effort, c) doesn’t inspire or motivate us. 80% of the tasks fall under all three categories.
As it turns out the most effective way to avoid procrastination is NOT applying inhuman mental effort and force yourself into doing something. Nor it is waiting till the last moment when the task appears into “Urgent! Must be done today! Seriously, it can’t wait!” category and then complete it in 15 minutes. The smartest and easiest way to overcome procrastination is use your weaknesses to your own benefit.

How to make procrastination work for you?

Usual motivational techniques teach you to think of all the benefits that you will achieve after completing the task. This method does work, but for most of us promise of future reward is not nearly as stimulating as a threat of punishment.
Professional self-help coaches know about it and are actively using this information to “motivate” their clients into following through with their goals.

What they do is ask their clients Three Little Questions:

1. The first question is about your goal. You are asked to state what it is that you would like to achieve and figure out step-by-step plan of how you can do it.

2. The second question sounds somewhat strange, “Can I hold you accountable for this goal?”  At this point your mind goes, “Hold on a minute…accountable? Me?!” and you start to suspect that it is not going to be pretty, but you summon up your courage and say, “sure! You can hold me accountable!”

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