One Fear That You Should Pay Attention To
“There is a time to take counsel of your fears, and there is a time to never listen to any fear”. ~George S. Patton
Fear has darkened more hopes, shattered more goals, stifled more ambitions, poised more dreams, prevented more accomplishments than any other emotion in the world.
Although, the same fear has sharpened our senses in the face of danger, made us stronger when we needed to protect ourselves or our beloved ones, prevented us from taking bad decisions and unjustified risks, and in some cases it has saved our life.
Fear has many faces. Sometimes it disguises as caution. Sometimes as doubt and worry. Sometimes as an unpleasant gut feeling. Sometimes as anxiety or panic. And sometimes fear is so strong that it paralyzes us and takes our breath away.
What is the difference between the fear that you should pay attention to and the one that becomes an obstacle towards your personal growth and success?
How to tell if your fear is imaginary?
Basically any irrational thought that starts with “what if…” indicates that your fear is not real. I once heard someone say that 90 percent of the things we fear never happen. A further 9 percent we often make happen ourselves. For example, a person who has a deep fear of losing his job may become so anxious about making a mistake that he will not be able to perform well and will continuously seek co-workers approval. His productivity will decrease which will eventually lead to a lay-off.
However the line that separates rational fears from imaginary ones is not always clear. For example, fear of losing a job during times of economical turmoil or fear that smoking can cause lung cancer is based on rational indicators. And it is important to do everything in our power to avoid these problems.
But there is always a limit to what we can do to improve the situation. If you pass the line, your rational concern can turn into an obsessive, paralyzing fear that will prevent you from living a normal life.
What to do about your rational and imaginary fears?
1. Verbalize a problem. Somehow saying it out loud makes it easier for our mind to deal with it.
2. Get your emotions out. Very often when we face a difficult situation that can end badly for us, such feelings as anger, fear and frustration are immediately triggered. The second your emotions take over,the rational part of your brain does not stand a chance of regaining control, until the emotions have exhausted themselves. Usually by the time our logic kicks in we have already successfully made fools of ourselves. This is why it is important to let your emotions exhaust themselves, before coming to any conclusions.
Note! There is a difference between feeling emotions and indulging in them. When you wallow in your emotions, they start to manage you and drag you deeper into fear and misery. When you feel emotions, you notice what sensations they provoke in your body, but they do not have such a strong affect on you, nor slow down your personal growth.
3. Turn on your rational brain. It is not an accident that the rational part of your brain encompasses about two-thirds of your brain’s total size. Our ability to think rationally and manage our feelings are what separates us from animals, whose behavior is based on instincts. When you feel that you have regained your ability to think logically, concentrate your thoughts on analyzing all the facts, before jumping to conclusions. After you do this, you will probably see that the real situation is not as bad as it initially looked.
4. Choose the best course of action. If your fears are imaginary, acknowledge them for what they are and do not dwell on them. Distract your mind with a meditation, prayer, a favorite song or another task.
Note! If your fear has already transformed itself into an ongoing anxiety that has no apparent cause it may be a symptom of either misplaced or conditioned fear. If so, it may be wise to see a professional counselor, who will help you to find the true cause of your fear.
If your fears have real grounds, then think of what you can do to improve the situation.
Focus on solutions, not on fears. It is absolutely normal to worry about the future and the future of people that we love, but it is important not to go overboard!
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Tags: get rid of fear, manage fear advice, overcome irrational fear, overcoming fears, personal growth, steps to overcome fear
