How To Stay True To Yourself In Any Situation
“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.” ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
“Just be yourself!”- is such an obvious statement. What can be easier than that? And yet the first thought that comes to mind is “Can’t you, please, be more specific?”
We are so used to changing masks, playing our social roles, adapting to other people and circumstances that most of us no longer understand where the real us is and when “us” is acting. We know how to act to be a leader – you guide, manage and educate those who depend on you. We know what it means to be a good employee – you show up to work on time, invest your time, skills and abilities to help the company grow and prosper. We have a pretty good idea about what being a wonderful spouse or a great parent means.
But how are you supposed to act when your only task is to be yourself?
If you are unsure how to answer this question, here are 9 suggestions that will help you to stay true to yourself.
1. Get to know yourself better.
If you need to fill every second of your day with some kind of activity, if you believe that any reason is good enough to go out instead of sitting at home, if you get bored by yourself – it all means just one thing – you have not got to know yourself well enough.
It is close to impossible to be yourself, when you do not know who you are or understand what you want! Take time to get to know yourself better! After all you are the only person who you will spend every day of your life with.
2. Develop your individuality.
Sometimes we copy other people’s actions or adapt to their beliefs, because it seems like the easiest way to fit in and be accepted. But it is also the easiest way to lose your unique individuality that makes people want to get to know you better. Why blend in with the surroundings and be just like everyone else, when you can actually stand out?
We all have our unique individuality. After all that is why we are called individuals, not primates. Whether you love to walk on the beach while it is raining or cannot stand the smell of beer, do not be afraid to share it with others! That is what makes you interesting and attracts others to you!
3. Do not snub the “popular” stuff.
When I was a teenager, every time I heard the phrase, “It is very popular right now” I automatically assumed that it was stupid, shallow and pointless. I did not listen to Backstreet Boys, because 99% of my classmates were constantly listening to them. I decided I did not like Leonardo di Caprio just because all the girls of my age were in love with him. I guess I just did not want to like something or someone simply because everyone else does. I wanted to be different. Unique. Invincible to social influence. Now when I think about it, it actually makes me laugh. Thinking that you are too cool to get in the trend is just as silly as wanting something because everyone else has it /likes it. Do not snub the popular stuff just because it labeled as “popular” or “trendy”. Take time to figure out what it is that you like! This is way more original!
4. Stop worrying what others might think.
Living according to someone else’s standards is a sure way to lose your authenticity and coolness. Do not be afraid to express your point of view or to share your feelings. If you are constantly wondering, “Did they like me?”, “Does she think I’m fat?”, “Was it a stupid question to ask?” you have no time to be yourself!
You should be appreciated for who you are, not for who you could become if you change everything about yourself!
5. Find your motivation behind being in disguise.
Think of the situations when you are most likely to put on the “mask” and completely change your behavior. What is your main motivating behind such change? Are you trying to impress your date? Get along with your in-laws? Show your boss that you are the best candidate for the next promotion?
The biggest problem with playing someone else’s role is body language. Every time you pretend to agree with something you do not believe in or bend your behavior to please someone else, there is a conflict between your conscious words/actions and non-verbal signals that your body is communicating to others. People will sense it when you are not being genuine and you will lose their trust.
We may think that it is necessary or convenient to act according to other people’s expectations, but it is really not. You can always achieve the same objectives without having to change who you are.
6. Do not be afraid to laugh at yourself.
When something unexpected or embarrassing happens, be it that you spilling coffee on your pants or knocking over the board during a presentation, there is usually a half-second pause between the accident and people’s reaction. During this pause everyone looks at you to see how you behave. If you face turns red and you start excusing yourself, you get smirks or “poor you” looks. But if you act as it is not a big deal and are the first one to tease yourself, people laugh with you, not at you. Do not sweat the small stuff! You will not be remembered as “the guy who had spinach stuck between his teeth” or “the girl who spelled ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’”.
7. Start your own journal.
For many of us it is easier to share our thoughts, feelings and aspirations on paper than to open up with other people. If you have never kept a diary, try it! When you let go of censorship and limitations and let your thoughts flow freely you get in touch with your true self. This is how you get flashes of inspiration, come up with solutions to complicated life problems and even understand your own feelings and actions better.
8. Stand up for what you believe.
In many everyday situations it is easier and wiser to agree to disagree than to enter into a heated argument about why your ideas and beliefs are better than anyone else’s. But it is also important to stay true to your values and be able hold your ground. People might disagree with your opinion, they might not understand your ideas or they might even disapprove of your actions. But most of them will respect you for having enough courage to stand up for what you believe in.
9. Become at peace with your flaws.
No one is perfect. There is always something we would like to change about our personality or appearance. This is just how our mind works – nothing is ever good enough. Learn to accept your “little imperfections”, whether it is an unruly curly hair or a natural shyness around people you do not know. There must be a reason why God made you this way.
Learn to perceive your so-called flaws into your personal quirks! Accepting yourself the way you are is the first and most important step towards becoming better.
“There is just one life for each of us: our own.” – Euripides.
Let’s make it as great, as happy, and as satisfying as we possibly can! Starting now!
Put everything that you are doing “on hold” and give yourself a big smile . Tell yourself how great, wonderful, talented you are and how grateful you are for being YOU. 
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Tags: be authentic, be yourself, follow your heart, overcome social pressure, stay true to yourself, true self
