Harmful Advice: 3 Ways to Terrible Relationships
When I was little, my mom got me a strange book. It was a collection of short funny poems by Grigorii Oster called “Harmful Advice”.
The preface read:
“Scientists have recently discovered that there are some misbehaved children in the world, who are set on doing exactly the opposite of what they are told. You tell them to wash their face in the morning – and they make it their resolution to go around face-unwashed. You tell them to greet other people – and they immediately stop saying “Hello”…”
The idea behind the book was pretty simple and very original – to give bad advice and make disobedient children do the opposite – i.e. behave themselves! Talk about reverse psychology used by sneaky parents to morph their little monsters into composed, soft-spoken angels.
Today I met a person who could have probably used a few Harmful Advices when he was little. He seemed to have a rare gift of instantly turning people off. Well, not instantly. But as soon as he started talking…
The sad thing is that deep down he might be a great, interesting, and kind-hearted guy. He just does not let his nicer side show.
This got me thinking, what if I was to give “Harmful Advice” to adults? Maybe for the sheer pleasure of doing something in spite of what they are told, some people would actually stop making negative comments about those around them and bring their own positive qualities to the light?
The psychologist in me says that this theory is worth giving a try. I am even ready to go as far as writing short poems (something I have never done before and will probably never attempt again 
).
Harmful Advice For Grown-Ups: 3 Strategies to Terrible Relationships
1. Harmful Advice #1: Repeat that you’re right.
“Let everyone know what they shouldn’t do.
Do tell them they’re wrong, which makes you right too.
Don’t beat round the bush, don’t soften the blow.
Be honest. Direct. Let criticism flow!”
2. Harmful Advice#2: Let your brilliance shine.
“Wherever you are, whatever you do,
Give people the chance to meet brilliant you!
Don’t listen to jokes, you’ve already heard.
Don’t suppress the yawn when you’re mildly bored.
Say “I told you so…” whenever you can.
Tis’only the truth. It’s better for them.”
3. Harmful Advice#3: Forget about the gratitude.
“No need to praise something that can be improved.
No need to say “great” when you can say “good”.
No need to say “thank you” and “how do you do?”
and wasting your breath on compliments too.
The gratitude concept is really outdated.
That’s not how you grow and stay motivated.”
Are there people in your life that annoy or frustrate you?
What Harmful Advice would you give them?
=> Click here to learn advanced persuasion strategies.
Tags: Communication, communication tips, harmful advice, improve relationships, relationship mistakes, relationships
