About only two-three hundred years ago a man’s word was his bond and a handshake was enough to close a deal. Now contracts are valid only if written on paper in the presence of lawyers and it is enough to have a plausible excuse to break a promise.

How often do we tell someone “I’ll call you”, “I really want to watch this movie. I’ll clean up as soon as the commercials are on”, “I will definitely get back in shape before the summer”?

I admit that I am guilty of making such promises and then fulfilling them partially or having to go back on my word and explain why I could not do it.

There are hundreds of reasons why we do not stick to our word: circumstances change, something more urgent comes up, time passes and we forget what we have promised and to whom, or we realize that we made a foolish pledge without thinking it through. The human mind can reach extraordinary levels when it comes to making up self-justifications. But all the excuses in the world still cannot stifle the nagging sensation that we have done something wrong.

If you, just like me, would like to learn how to follow through with your promises 100% of the time, here are 7 Great Tips that will help you to become a man/woman of your word, gain other people’s trust easily, reinforce your self-confidence, eliminate guilty pangs and even reduce conflicts with your family members and your co-workers.

1. Be honest with yourself. However good the intention, before making a promise to anyone (even to yourself), ask yourself if you will be able fulfill it. Do you really have the opportunity, time and desire to stick to your word? Are you sure you are not going to let yourself or another person down? No one is forcing you to give the pledges or make any commitments. Therefore, whenever you have the impulse to make a rushed, far-fetched promise, put a piece of chocolate in your mouth and chew it slowly until the promise-itch passes.

2. Ask yourself if you mean it. An interesting study conducted in Switzerland by Thomas Baumgartner and Urs Fischbacher showed that it is possible to detect whether a person is about to break a promise the second the person voices it. It means that on some level we already know if we will do something or not. They also noticed increased brain activity when participants were giving false promises, which may mean that it is psychologically more comfortable to stick to your promises than to break them.

So my question is why promise something that we do not want to do, knowing that we are not going to do and in addition to all this having to deal with the negative consequences. Isn’t it easier to say “I’m sorry. I wish I could, but I don’t want to” right away?

3. Analyze your motivation behind the promise. Why are you making a particular commitment in the first place? Do you really want to help? Do you feel that you need to say “yes”, because you do not want to disappoint the person who is asking you for a favor? Do you just say “yes”, because you want to end a conversation or because you do not feel like explaining why you do not want to do it? Is there some type of reward/punishment involved? If you are making a promise for the wrong reasons, the chances are that you will not follow through with it.

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Whether your goal is to write a book, learn HTML, get promoted at work, raise wonderful kids, or help to motivate and inspire others – you should probably aim to become an expert at whatever you are trying to do.

Why?

Because it is much easier to achieve any of these goals if:

1) You know what you are doing
2) You have authority and other people trust you

Besides, becoming an expert holds multiple other benefits:

• You become a trusted resource and people appreciate your advice
• You hold the true power to teach others how to succeed
• You gain respect of your co-workers, boss and other people who admire your skills
• You do a great job and make better decisions
• And consequently, you get greater rewards for your efforts (money, gratitude and appreciation)

If you are interested in becoming an expert at almost any field here is a 5 step process that can help you to do just that:

1. Start at the beginning.

The crucial part of becoming an expert is to know a lot about whatever it is you do. In order to gain this knowledge, you must know WHERE to look for it and WHAT questions to ask. And in order to know what to ask, one should first learn the basics and terminology. This is where a lot of people have difficulties. I recently heard an interview given by an Editor of a huge Publishing house. He said that if someone wants to sell a book about any subject for beginners, they should probably name it something like “Advanced time management techniques” or “How to flirt like a pro”. For some reason we strongly dislike thinking of ourselves as amateurs or beginners. Maybe it is a quick-fix mentality talking. Or maybe we subconsciously hope if we learn the pro stuff, the basics will somehow take care of themselves. Who knows?

But unfortunately the truth is that no one can become a master without starting at the beginner’s level first. It would be foolish to give a five-year-old the “New York Times” and expect him to learn how to read. He needs to learn his “ABC” first. Similar memorizing bits and pieces of information here and there can help you to put on a false front for a while, but will not make you a true expert. Therefore, do not skip the first step. Learn the basics really well before you do anything else.

2. Understand the process.

Understanding what you are learning and why, gives you the motivation and focus to act on your goal. But you cannot do anything until you know HOW to do it (at least at some minimal level). Therefore, before taking massive action, learn as much as you can about the area of your interest.

There are many ways you can do this:

• find out if there are any techniques that you can use
• ask people who are already “experts” for help and advice
• watch someone else do it
• read at least one book a month on the topic
• search the Internet for helpful information
• make a resource bank of everything that you feel is worthy as you learn (document and save all the helpful information that you might use in the future),
• attend seminars or take classes
• decide where to start and make an action plan

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Psychologists Gideon Keren and Willem Wagenaar, observed more than eleven thousand hands of blackjack played by 112 gamblers in an Amsterdam casino, in an attempt to analyze how the players made their judgments. They discovered that most players made the same decision-making mistakes that cost them lots of money.

As it turns out we make the same mistakes in real life situations as well:

1. Delaying bad news.

Have you heard the expression “hope dies last”? Sometimes it is a good thing, because it helps us to regain our motivation in spite of failures. But more often we cling to our old ideas, beliefs, opinions and old patterns of behavior with “maniacal determination” even if we get repeated proof that they do not work. It is similar to a “stubborn monkey” that gets caught by hunters, because it does not want to let go of a banana, lying in a trap.

If something goes wrong, we refuse to accept that things have not worked out as we initially expected, and we hope that if we wait long enough the situation will “magically” improve.

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It is just another regular day. You are sitting at work in front of your computer and let us face it… you have reached your limit here. You have not learnt anything new in a long time. If in the beginning of your career you could not wait to get started working on a new project, now you feel that the continuous line of projects has become routine.

You do what you are good at but there is no challenge, no creativity and no excitement. You are considered a “valuable asset” for your company and you make good money. But you are unlikely to get a noticeable pay rise as you always have a cap on your earnings. And the worst thing is that you may know a lot more than your superiors do, but they still “manage” you.

More and more often you think about opening your own business and trying your abilities in a different area. It does sound appealing. Complete financial freedom. No boss and no supervision. Flexible hours and long holidays. Unlimited opportunities. Dreams realized.

But just as there can be many rewards from running your own business, there can also be many pitfalls. The biggest one is that you are risking your own money. So you really want to get it right the first time.

Small businesses do fail. It is a fact. Although there is not any way that you can guarantee that you will excel in running your own business you can greatly improve your odds by becoming well-prepared for the task.

There are ten facts that you must know in order to become a major elite player in any field:

1. Know Exactly What You Want

When setting any goal, be it opening a new venture or taking your existing business to the next level, you should always have a clear picture of where you want to end up before you even start. Your goals direct your actions. The more specific and detailed your goals are the more efficient your actions will be. The faster and easier you will get to the top.

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