24 Tips to Boost your Self-Confidence and Get Rid of Self-Doubts (Part Two)
“Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself.” – Robert Collier
Doubting yourself or your own abilities and skills, having to put up with derogatory remarks every day, spending most of your efforts on proving to everyone that you are worthy can be very frustrating (to put it mildly). Ironically, being aware about your lack of self-confidence, does not make you feel any better about yourself.
But it does not have to be this way!
Here is the second part of the 24 amazing tips that will help you boost your self-confidence, break free from the self-pity and self-doubt cycle, take control of your life back, and gain the respect and support of others:
13. Count your blessings
Self-doubts and worries attract negative events and failures into your life. The best way to stop the flow of self-destructive thoughts is to switch your focus from what you do not have – to everything that you have been blessed with. Believe me, there is always something to be grateful for: your health, your parents, your children, a roof over your head, your job. Many people do not have even that much!
14. Contribute to others
Knowing that your experience, knowledge and skills can serve other people is an empowering thought. The momentyou start helping others, you stop viewing yourself as a victim of circumstances. You realize that you hold the power to make someone else’s life a little easier and a little better. Just make sure that you offer your help, because you want to, not because you expect gratitude or a favor in return!
15. Refrain from judging
Judging someone is nothing else than a subconscious attempt to boost your self-esteem by putting other people down. Your own lack of self-confidence and self doubts could be the direct result of someone judging you in the past. You know how terrible it feels when another person tries to compensate for their hurt ego by making other people feel miserable. So why be that person?
16. Do not jump to conclusions
Neurological studies show that we rarely make decisions completely rationally and objectively. 90% of the time the conclusions that we make are based on bits and pieces of information that we can interpret differently depending on our mood, our past experiences, our background and our self-esteem. Keep that in mind and base your judgments on facts, rather than presentiments! If someone is frowning, it does not necessarily mean that they dislike you or that YOU did something wrong. Similar, if the last time you did not follow through with your goal, it does not mean that you are hopeless and will fail every goal that you set.
17. Stop comparing yourself with others
They say that a troubled mind tends to compare two entirely different things. You might be doing the same thing… If you take the strengths of others and compare them to your weaknesses – the result will always be unsatisfactory. Do not intentionally put yourself down. The only relevant parameter of your growth and progress is the difference between how you were last week and how you are today!
18. Do not make it about you
I know this sounds strange, but low self-esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Two girls just looked your way and started laughing? So what? Maybe they had just shared a private joke and are afraid that someone might have overheard them? Or you heard your boss saying that they are tired of working with ‘idiots’! It does not mean that they meant you! Do not look for a hidden message in between the lines. Sometimes there simply are none!
19. Take credit for your achievements
It has been scientifically proven that people who suffer from low self esteem usually attribute their successes to external factors, such as good luck, chance or someone else’s responsibility.
If you tend to do this too, then you are not being fair to yourself. Learn to take credit for your accomplishments and celebrate your successes (no matter how small or insignificant they may seem to you). Think of what you have achieved in the past despite all the self-doubts and worries, be it passing your driving test, graduating from college, losing 5 extra pounds, coming up with a great suggestion at work, or reading this article and taking proactive steps in boosting your self-confidence.
20. Create your own cheer leading team
At times, insecurity and lack of self-confidence stems from a need for emotional validation. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who will help you to overcome self doubts and encourage you when you most need it.
21. Stay away from people who are putting you down
Just like there will always be people who empower you, there will also be those who disapprove of your actions, criticize your ideas and try to bring you down. That’s life! But it does not mean that you have to put a “piniada” sign on your forehead and personally hand a stick to everyone who wishes to take their frustration out on you! If someone upsets you or makes you feel unworthy or inadequate in some way, do not put up with this! Just walk away and try to limit any communication with such a person to a minimum.
22. Learn to accept compliments
When I was little I was seriously annoyed by my grandmother’s friends who would pet my cheek and say, “Aaaawww. What a cute baby!” Since that time I have developed an allergy to compliments pronounced in this sweet manner. I realize that sometimes it can be hard to accept a compliment and not to dismiss it as being ridiculous (especially if you feel that you have not deserved it). But, on the other hand, there is a reason why another person is saying something nice to you. So next time someone gives you a compliment say “Thank you” and at least consider the idea that it may be true.
23. Do not force positive thinking onto yourself
Positive thinking can be useful, because it challenges you to see the situation from a different perspective. However, just mindlessly repeating positive affirmations and platitudes about how fantastic you are can only make you feel worse. You need to believe in what you tell yourself, otherwise any positive self-talk will simply take the form of self-arguing. Your level of confidence and positive self-image is built gradually, not changed overnight with an enthusiastic remark, “I feel gooood and self-confident!”
24. Look at life with a little more humor
People who have a good sense of humor and see the funny side even in the most frustrating situations are usually happier, healthier and more successful. Try not to take yourself or your life too seriously. Let go of self-pity, guilt, and perfectionism and learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes! Life is supposed to be an adventure that helps you to discover new ideas and learn valuable lessons. Do not turn it into an ordeal that you must suffer while everyone else is having fun and enjoying themselves!
You can read the first batch of 12 Self-Confidence Tips here
What Would You Attempt If You Knew You Could Not Fail?
5 Non-Obvious Keys to Success
Tags: become more confident, boost self-confidence, get rid of self-doubts, improve self-esteem, reinforce self-confidence
